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Fill Her Up Please. Version 2.

Almost seven years ago, I published my first blog post.  I’ve given it a quick make-over and included a photo, which I only recently realised was published on the same day as the post, July 1 2013. I’ve revisited this post several times and feel it is as important now as it ever was. Particularly during these times of change.

At the time, I had been working on myself, but it fell apart. I went back on the drink and gambling and smokes a few weeks later before I regrouped and started again from scratch in May of the following year, and six years later I’m still on that path. What it highlights for me is that change comes in small increments, and each step is essential. You can’t rush things and expect them to work.

The same can be said about our society coming out of the COVID crisis. I can’t help but feel that things are a bit messy at the moment. It all feels so rushed, and I get a sense as do many that things will turn bad again before they get better. From personal experience, that’s how real change often occurs.

Fill Her Up Please – The Original.

Hello and welcome to my very first post. Most exciting!

About me and what I hope to achieve through this blog.

Antonio(Tony) Barea 40-year-old single white male. Aussie born Spanish heritage. Never married. Yes, I know this isn’t a dating service. Service station operator(two of them as if one wasn’t enough)part-time screenwriter, writer, storyteller, now blogger, depression and anxiety sufferer(recovering), former regular binge drinker and gambler. I currently live at home with my parents, although this hasn’t always been the case. Yes, I can cook, but I am currently not required to do so thanks to my caring Spanish mother.

One of the few photos of me at Cringila Sevice Station. This photo featured in the Kiama Independent Newspaper as part of a campaign against fuel theft. Picture: DYLAN ROBINSON

Perhaps it’s just me,  but I’m finding that most people are looking for something…… something extra from life, from the day to day to grind, the way they feel physically, mentally, spiritually. I see it every day, people from all walks of life just waiting to be engaged to feel like someone has done that little bit extra to even just have a chat, a kind word, a smile.

On occasion, I will fill one of my customers’ cars with petrol for them, just like in the “good ole days.” The response I get is remarkable, and while it is only a simple act, you get the sense that there is something deeper to this whole concept of doing something for someone even this simple courtesy which was once the norm. I get a buzz from it along with a sense of connection with my customers which is on an entirely different level.

I want to share some of my experiences. I feel that by doing so, I can help both male readers faced with similar difficulties that I have met and also women who may have a partner, friend or relative that they would like to help or at least better understand. As a bonus, I will also be able to let you know if and when petrol prices are going up or down.

I’ve undergone a complete transformation in the past 3 months. I went cold turkey from my anti-depressant medication Pristiq (that’s a story in itself) I stopped drinking alcohol altogether, stopped smoking which I had taken up again over the last 6 months after having been off them for almost three years. Reduced my three sometimes four double shot short black espressos a day to zero. Completely transformed my diet from a pizza, potato, pie-eating monster to only meat and veg(no potato) or bread. I’ve lost approx 10kgs without lifting a weight or jumping on a treadmill, and as a result, I’m feeling better than I’ve felt in years. Physically and mentally.

But this journey is at its infancy, and it’s essential to mention that I haven’t got to where I am on my own. I’ve been fortunate enough to have been able to engage the services of a life coach, Coach Dee, to help me on my journey.

There are many steps involved in transforming ones state of being many of those are baby steps and require some assistance. To feel good about ourselves, often it may just be the case of letting someone do something for you. Like, fill your tank!

Contents of this post make up part of the upcoming book One Day I Will Tell The Truth.

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